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I just caught myself reading about Survivor: China... did you know that they still made reality shows? seriously, hasn't this trend passed by now? but I guess neither has the "he/she was funny in a movie so let's give him/her a show loosely based on their life on the UPNCWTBS station. The "hood" and/or rural Arkansas isn't as funny as you think it is. Which got me thinking: what would my show be called if I some how made it big as a comedian and they threw a 9pm Tuesday night slot on CBS at me. Here's your answer: First of all, it definitely would star me and it would definitely have my name in the title, something like: "The Alex Burdine Super Happy Fun Train Show" or "Alex Burdine Explains it All" or "Kaleidoscopes and Pancake Mix with Alex Burdine." You get the idea. My name and everything else is tertiary, at best. Secondly, I would want my three brothers to be in the show. It's easy enough to know why I'd have my brothers in the show if you've met any of them. I, and I do this with humility, have to say that my brothers are cooler than anyone else's brothers. There's enough humor, cultural understanding, angst, and need for attention for the four of us to entertain any room. oh, and Russel Crowe and Will Sasso:   here's why: some days I feel like Russel Crowe: awesome, cool, and charming. Other days I'm Will Sasso: goofy, overweight, and, well, still charming. Why those two? Two Reasons: #1) I've been told repeatedly that I kinda look like those guys. #2) as a part of the show, I don't plan on actually acting in the show. I would, however, do both voice overs and walk ons as an unseen participant that can freeze and unfreeze time. Instead, these guys (depending on the situation my character was in, would play me) I'm sure these guys would buy in. the show: Here's how a typical show goes down: title credits: montage of Russell/Will and my brothers fighting crime in a Miami Vice tribute style with Herb Alpert's "Rise" playing show opening: the show opens with a live audience and me welcoming everyone to this week's show followed by a brief monologue which will involve my brothers and I setting up that week's story. the meat: Ranging from awkward dating situations to funny inside stories that has happened to me, my family, or my friends to political commentary and satire. My show will be 22 minutes of awesomeness. At different times, I will be there to stop things and guide the story along and get in my last say. It is MY show. Regardless of the embarrassing situation or story, I deserve to have my final word. the resolution: every good show has a resolution. My show will end with moral wrap up of the story told, for instance: and so we all learned that living in Texas has its definite perks: 1600 miles away from New Jersey drivers, unlimited meat products, and some really cool wildlife. But in the end, if you don't close the gates, your cat will probably end up half eaten by coyotes. closing: some awesome band will close us with one of their songs in studio, just because that's what needs to happen on any cool show. Preferably, it's a song that was written just for my show and for the topic at hand. THE END. Some day I'll write an episode and post it online. tell me what you think some time. it'd be the best show on earth. don't deny it. |
